Monthly Archives: July 2011

Jesus Calling on Day 3

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Last night I went home a little discouraged. Maybe it was the empty feeling of finishing Mad Men season 2, maybe it was the emotional SportsCenter coverage of the US women’s soccer team defeating Brazil, maybe it was my estrogen flaring up, but I couldn’t kick the distinct feeling of needing to cry. I think I’m mostly feeling down about not contributing meaningfully to work, and not knowing where or how to start.

This morning I came to work with a better attitude. “It’s only Day 3,” I reminded myself. Since 8:30, I’ve had a few co-worker interactions that have lifted my spirits considerably. First, I was invited to look at baby pictures of a new grandson named Beckett. Then I was asked to determine if a certain dress was black or navy (after much debate, I voted navy). Minutes later, Randy showed off a photo album of his recent trip to Israel. The pictures were almost as amazing as the stories accompanying them. He had pictures of the walls of Jericho, the slab on which Jesus was laid in the tomb, camels in the desert, and the Dome of the Rock.

When the last picture was turned over, I said something about needing to travel there, to which he responded jokingly (but sort of seriously), that he’s going back in September to do some research and work with/speak at Hebrew University… and he’s always looking for research assistants. By the way, this guy teaches classes on Hostage Negotiation and Communication & Terrorism (he’s analyzed a lot of  al-Queda’s messages. Read: HE’S A BIG DEAL. But also a notorious prankster, heh hehhh. On his way out he stopped to tell me more about his research goals, and said to let him know if I’m interested. (DUH!)

Feeling encouraged, I thumbed to July 13th in Jesus Calling to read today’s message:

“I want you to experience the riches of your salvation: the Joy of being loved constantly and perfectly. You make a practice of judging yourself, based on how you look or behave or feel. If you like what you see in the mirror, you feel a bit more worthy of My Love. When things are going smoothly and your performance seems adequate, you find it easier to believe you are My beloved child. When you feel discouraged, you tend to look inward so you can correct whatever is wrong.

Instead of trying to “fix” fix yourself, fix your gaze on Me, the Lover of your soul. Rather than using your energy to judge yourself, redirect it to praising Me. Remember that I see you clothed in My righteousness, radiant in My perfect Love”

I bolded the line that most stood out to me. What a great reminder! I am so thankful for this job, and I need to realize that it’s not going to be easy or come naturally right off the bat. I need to redirect my focus when I’m frustrated because, ultimately, it’s not really about me.

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Noob Status

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Hopefully this will show up as my first blog post. I’ve decided to keep a blog to track my experiences as the inaugural Fellow in the Dean’s Office at Wake Forest. Yesterday, my first day, can only be described as a marathon. I walked all over God’s green earth the acquire my new laptop, fill out tax forms, visit the ol’ Advancement crew, pick up keys to the office, secure a new DeaconOne Card, get a voided deposit slip, converse with a Dean, grab lunch with Caroline, meet with Perry and Tiffany to discuss my first project, pick out office supplies (I almost just typed “school” supplies), and meet the people in the office. I finally plopped down at my computer and compiled notes for the rest of the afternoon, and began to develop a strategy for how to capture and portray the essence of Advising here at Wake. Then I walked a mile home to the Giles Faculty Drive abode while rehashing it all on the phone with my inquisitive mom and lamenting the fact that I had walked 4 miles in flats.

Today I woke up with Mad Men on the brain. Since spending some time at Holden Beach with my family, Austin and I have torn through seasons 1 and 2. We are currently 3 episodes away from finishing season 2, and I fully intend to purchase season 3 to keep this a fair and balanced relationship. But, those thoughts aside, I hurriedly got ready for work as I raced back and forth between my room and the bathroom and did my best to ignore the mess left by the Giles new puppy (shredded dryer sheets everywhere… niiiice). Determined to assuage my aching feet, I wisely opted to walk the mile to work while wearing running shoes. Just as I laced up my sneakers, Phil Collins appeared on my iPod shuffle. That was the moment I felt officially old and frumpy.

Today’s workday has been less physically taxing than yesterday, but I still feel a little out of place. I sat in on a staff meeting with the Office of Academic Advising, led by Perry, where the logistics of the new freshmen registration were discussed and I was, once again, introduced to my co-workers. Afterwards, we took a picture on the “stairs” to be used on the website, and I squeezed a few head shots out of the deal. I spent some time setting up my printing situation before heading out to meet Perry and Jacque for lunch at Deacon Tower. They asked me questions like “What are your goals for this year?” and “How can we help you succeed in this position?” ….. I’m a little nervous because the job description is so undefined. No one is going to tell me what to do, show me how to do it, and then send me off to work in the intern corner where they can keep an eye on me. This job is more along the lines of “think of what to do, and then do it!” which will undoubtedly take some adjusting. It seems like they are looking for a fresh twist on just about everything, and they like that I still maintain the perspective of a student.

I can already tell that I am going to need to step up, speak up, and think outside the box if I am going to be successful in this office. I wish I knew how to make myself indispensable, but I will probably only discern how I fit in to the picture when I am looking at the year in retrospect. My hope and prayer is that I will find my place sooner than later!

In the mean time, I started a blog to collect my thoughts and learning experiences over the next year. I hope you find it varianteresting.

Hello world!

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